Friday 10 November 2017

Triggered

The floodgates have opened. So many men and women are standing up and coming forward with tales of sexual trauma as adults and children.

It's a good thing that perpetrators are being unmasked.

It's damned disheartening to discover exactly how many of us are out there.

And it adds to the pain and anxiety of fellow survivors. Acknowledged and unacknowledged.

It's much like coming out of a closet.

The shame and pain we hold inside for so long is a shared one.

Until we disclose it doesn't feel like it.

It's a lonely road whether we travel it single file or as part of a mass.

If you have been sexually assaulted at any age, you don't have to expose yourself to details. Just extend your empathy and solidarity.

We are together in this but don't risk further damage to your mental health and recovery.

Unplug when you need to. Check in witg a mental health profession if you need to.

This flood of disclosure isn't abating anytime soon.

Be kind but be gentle with yourself too.

Friday 3 November 2017

Was I better off not opening this can of worms?

Feeling lately like I've been taken off the high wire and now I can't find my footing on the ground.

Not sure if I need a different medication or a different dose, but the panic attacks are worse and I'm finding it hard to cope.

Free fall at work.

Making mistakes.

Can't focus.

Poor judgement. 

All I want to do is run and hide.

But hermiting doesn't pay the bills.

I know logically that the process has barely begun.

But logic doesn't keep demons down for long.

I didn't think of myself as broken before.

Now I wonder if I can be repaired.